Manners and Etiquette: The definition of a person!
Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities take you to places but, Manners & Etiquettes let you sustain in those places.
With every passing generation, certain social etiquettes have been disappearing. As a child, I was told that while getting photographed/walking/standing with a lady other than his wife, a gentleman should be standing on the lady’s left. To be on the right-hand side of a woman is considered as a prerogative of her husband. Such etiquette is no longer seen/observed. Similarly, making eye contact while talking, being gracious & appreciative, and dressing to the tune of the occasions/audience are now considered archaic.
Minor actions like — promptly replying to an email or fulfilling a self-declared deadline or grabbing the door for someone passing through, might be considered random insignificant elements that we ignore in our daily lives. However, these are the “fine” components of your personality that establish a long-term reputation. Which, on numerous occasions command regard and reverence.
In an era dominated by online interaction, the very standards of social life have been fast fading. However, manners and etiquettes leading to decent conduct in a social life remain unscathed. Human, being a social animal has to live in a society and lead a social life regardless of how much technology takes over or how much corona leads to social distancing. Corona has induced social distancing but, the need to maintain a social image still prevails. You might be 6 feet apart from a person and could be wearing 2 masks but the person can still read your outward expressions and body language.
Words, gestures, modes of speech, movement, courtesy, etc. constitute manners while etiquette is a polite behavior among members of a particular profession or group or society. They are the best recommendation of an individual. They cost nothing but when practiced, furnish meaningful and valuable gains. “Fine” manners are everywhere a passport to regard. Facial beauty charms the eye, but manners and etiquettes win the heart. Apart from adding grace and greatness to a personality, they tend to act like flowers that lend fragrance long after they are gone.
In the words of one of the greatest writers in English history — Sydney Smith “ Manners are the shadows of virtues; the momentary display of these qualities which our fellow creatures love and respect. If we strive to become, what we strive to appear, manners may often be rendered a useful guide to the performance of our duties.”
Manners and etiquette can always be learned, acquired, or cultivated, but if not practiced these qualities soon diminish. A human being emulates what is observed from the surroundings. For instance — children learn from their elders, students learn from school, college, and in the company of friends. Society and the environment play a great role in the cultivation of manners and etiquette. If a person moves among people who possess and display good manners, he subconsciously inherits the same.
Undoubtedly the words that we use are the rudimentary and the most important element of our conversations hence we are judged by what we speak. Speaking in a pleasant and gentle tone radiates courtesy and projects a welcoming nature. Sometimes, even good words if used in an inappropriate tone do not sound good. The choice of words is, therefore, very important. Professional conversations must always be precise and concise. While interacting with superiors at the workplace, courteous gestures must be displayed constantly. In the case of subordinates, being a good listener always helps.
Openly disagreeing with an opinion especially to that of a superior often induces an irksome atmosphere and exhibits unwelcoming behavior. Private conversations about disagreements and an ability to incorporate others’ opinions show a collaborative style of conflict management. A recent HR study projected that individuals who possess a collaborative style of conflict management rise faster than those who have a competitive or compromising nature of conflict management.
Similar guidelines are also applicable to online interactions where you must never speak while others are speaking. Regardless of the medium or platform of interaction, you are always to seek permission for interruption while someone is speaking.
Just like how you have to right to disagree; others too enjoy the same rights. Therefore, not getting provoked or agitated while still welcoming others’ disagreements and reasoning with them is the need of the hour. Using an inappropriate tone like shouting will never strengthen your perspective or point of view about something in a discussion, it rather proves the absence of professional etiquette. You must express yourself dispassionately. James Thomson, a Scottish playwright once said: “Truth, justice, and reason lose their force and all their luster when they not accompanied with agreeable manners.”
In a social discussion or gathering, being enthusiastic is good, but monopolizing the whole conversation is not. If a need to criticize arises, do it in a polite and civilized manner. Be careful about your choice of words. Avoid a harsh tone. Gestures and tones are more expressive than words. Gestures always over-shadow words.
Be it college, an online class, in the street, at the office, at your house, on a bus, or in the company of a peer group, you are always being watched. Everybody tends to notice the way we behave. Objectionable behavior always gets noted while good conduct earns relentless rewards.
The extent to which an individual commands regard is directly proportionate to the manners and etiquette being displayed. They comprise a large portion of the social quotient of every person. Being the most precious gifts of civilization, they are the unwritten rules that dictate success and failure.
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